FWP (Fearless Weekend Predictions) is a (hopefully) weekly post that we used to run at our old site every Friday after college football season. It gives one of your favorite StadiumDrives writers a chance to look into the crystal ball, or the bottom of a beer bottle, to see what the forthcoming weekend holds. It's also another post that will utilize the efficiency of bullet points. As always, please take all picks as novelty and do not gamble your rent check on them, unless you feel really strongly about a certain one.

Remember FWP? Yeah, I hardly did either. I'm back in the FWP Captain's chair and it feels so good. I felt this weekend was as good as any to get this back up and going again, with it being one of the biggest weekends of the sports calendar and all. Yes, it is the weekend that the Florida Panthers head north (but not too north) to battle it out against the Atlanta Thrashers (I'm almost 50% positive they're the Thrashers) in wild NHL regular season action!!! If you can't get excited about hockey being played in the Southeast, you just don't like sports. Obviously, I'm joking. It's Super Bowl weekend. Thankfully, fourteen days of over-hyping will end Sunday night when the Colts and Saints actually play. Did you hear that Peyton Manning is from New Orleans and his dad played for the Saints for a long time? Is something wrong with Dwight Freeney's ankle? Does anyone know where Jerome Bettis is from??? Hopefully, we can get some answers to these questions before the game, but for now, let's do this.

• The Saints will win the Super Bowl. There, I went ahead and said it. The Sunday night of the Conference Championship games (about three months ago), I thought the Colts would win by double-digits. But, it just seems like God/Mitch/Buddha/fate/destiny (not the stripper)/whatever you believe in has the Saints winning this game. New Orleans needs this, or so I'm told. I'm too scared to ever go to Louisiana. If the Colts win, it's because the Saints have a parade already planned, no matter the result of Sunday's game. Um...why?
• Tennessee will lose to South Carolina and North Carolina will lose to Maryland. Yes, I'm pissing off some of my comrades here, but I call them like I see them. The Vols are playing less than 48 hours after knocking off LSU in what ended up being a closer-than-expected game. The Gamecocks will put the best guard on the floor and their big men, shockingly, actually play by the basket (I'm looking at you, Wayne Chism). North Carolina's struggles, and attempts to kill Kentucky's RPI, will continue against the Terps. Maryland is a tough place to play and no matter how bad this UNC team is, Terrapin fans will be as raucous as ever.
• Watching dogs run around will have Americans tuned in. Yes, there is apparently something called The Puppy Bowl as a precursor to the actual game. I don't know anything about this, but Grubby is a HUGE fan. Shoot him an email if you want to talk Puppy Bowl.
• Winter Olympic Fever will sweep the nation! Or not. I'd rather watch Todd McShay talk about Tim Tebow's throwing mechanics again than watch skiing/snowboarding/hockey/figure skating.
• The media will keeping making Lane Kiffin more famous. I can't quite figure out the media's obsession with Kiffin. They seem to have a disdain for everything he does, but they continue to keep his name in the news. While older people may not think he's the bees' knees, high school seniors seem to have an affinity for him. All the guy did was bring in two top-ten recruiting classes on Wednesday. The big news now is that he took a verbal commitment from a 7th grader. Um, he did the same thing last year at Tennessee. No one made such a big deal about it then. That right there should tell everyone that USC is a better job than UT.
• Amanda Seyfried will look sexy in Dear John. Hopefully, no one reading this will have to see it. Seyfried is super hot in Big Love, and I'm sure she'll be hot in this crappy movie, too. But, I won't be going to see it...(checking to see if there's a topless scene)...Nope, I won't be going to see it.
• White people will get in the game for UK against LSU. You know what that means, Kentucky will have to be up big. LSU is absolutely awful and can't win a game in a very mediocre SEC West. There were about 47 people in attendance last night to watch them get beat by UT. That can only mean there will be thousands of people decked out in blue and doing the John Wall Dance in Baton Rouge tomorrow. The Cats will get up big early and the Tigers will give up. The Cats will win big and you can expect a lot of Harrellson, Hood and maybe even a Krebs sighting.

This time of year, everyone has awards on their mind.  The NFL has the Pro  Bowl (recently moved to before the Super Bowl!), every college basketball analyst and commentator is mentioning Player of the Year honors, the Winter Olympics are just around the corner and everyone can expect Josh Cohron to write daily about the happenings in Vancouver.

Yes, I know the introduction is a bit of a stretch but I couldn't come up with a better transition to what I am introducing as 'Sports Superlatives.'  Everyone remembers voting for Most Attractive, Most Likely to Succeed and Best All-Around for their high school yearbook.  We will be doing the same thing only for the sports world with a loose connection to high school life.

Why did I pick the first part of February to introduce Sports Superlatives?  It is close to Valentine's Day, I have no date and I feel alone and inadequate.  High school was the last time I had a real girlfriend and my senior year I was voted Most School Spirit.

Enough with the bad introductions...here we go.

Most Likely to Lie about Homework

- Urban Meyer: Congrats to Coach Meyer for successfully informing the world of his resignation from Florida only to have a change of heart, take a leave of absence, be magically healed and inform everyone he will be coaching during spring practice.  If only Tim Tebow had used his healing powers to change Carlos Dunlap's BAC, maybe they could have beaten Alabama.

Most Likely To Ditch His Prom Date After Taking Her Virginity

- Lane Kiffin: When Kiffin bolted after one year from Tennessee, the entire fan base was angry, hurt and confused.  Kiffin is the equivalent to the leather jacket wearing bad boy on one of those Lifetime movies that the innocent high school girl falls for.  She gives up her virginity on the back of this guy's motorcycle only to be dumped a few days later.  She finds peace at the end of the movie when discovering her ex-boyfriend has herpes, couldn't ride his father's coattails anymore, got a fat girl pregnant, flunked out of school, lost highly recruited kids to UCLA and lost the ability to speak in a tragic motorcycle accident.

Most Likely to Become a Serial Killer

- Cole Aldrich: Every time I see this guy on TV all I can think is Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  Say you were in the middle of Texas, bleeding, lying on the ground, having already lost an arm. Would you really be surprised if the guy standing over you with a chainsaw unveils himself to be Cole Aldrich?  Of course not.  He just has that look.  Don't be surprised when it happens.

Most Athletic

- Lebron James: Who did you expect to win this award?  The kind of fat kid at your crappy rural high school who threw for 3 TDs in the high school football state semi-finals that remains the greatest moment in your sorry town's pathetic existence.  No.  Grow up, pay attention to the real world of sports and stop pretending like anyone from your town is remotely athletic.

Most School Spirit

- Bruce Pearl: Anyone willing to dress like that just to support their school must win the award.

Most Likely to be Mistaken for an Ugly Woman (Tie)

- Phil Mickelson: Nobody else had man boobs like that.  Honestly, some drunk guy, somewhere will or has made that mistake.

- 'The Man Flower' on American Idol Monday night: Just watch the video, that's all I can say.

Person We're Hoping Is Most Likely to Get Pregnant the Summer After Her Senior Year

- Holly Rowe: I don't know who would sleep with her (maybe the sort of fat QB from your high school) but at least it would get her off High Def TV for a few months.

photo credit thebiglead.com

Hey! It's National Signing Day. The day where seniors can finally sign their letters of intent to go play football at the school of their choosing. It brings back great memories for me, watching other people at my high school sign. Thankfully, there are other things going on in sports so we don't have to spend all day concentrating on the whims of 17 and 18 year-olds.

• Kentucky won at home again last night. They took down the Rebels from Ole Miss 85-75 and were led (unsurprisingly) by DeMarcus Cousins and John Wall. Cousins continues to own the SEC and had 18 points and 13 rebounds. Most assume the Player of the Year trophy is already in John Wall's room at Wildcat Lodge (not sponsored by Coal just yet), but Cousins has certainly been POY-worthy of late. The media doesn't seem real enchanted with some of his antics, though, so he may lose some votes there. There is a great possibility, however, that former UK players (Wall and Cousins) could be the #1 and #2 picks in the NBA Draft come June.
• A note on Scotty Hopson. This guy has been a different player in 2010. I've been watching him play since he was a junior in high school. Up until the four UT players were arrested and suspended on New Year's Day, I'd seen the same Hopson for a long time. He was a guy with all the talent in the world, but usually lacked effort. He rarely took charge on the court and would disappear for minutes at a time. Maybe it took a team relying on him, but he has taken over. When everyone (me included) thought the Vols would implode, Hopson led them to a win over #1 Kansas. UT is 5-2 in 2010, and Vol fans have the lively Scotty Hopson to thank for that.
• The Winter Olympics start in 9 days! All you people who are in love with Conan O'Brien will be happy to know that NBC is projected to lose millions. Why? Because, no one gives a damn about white people skiing (unless they're wrecking).
• Michael Beasley's car was set on fire. Wait, just clicked on the link. It was not Michael; DeMarcus Beasley's car was set on fire. Okay, no one cares, he plays soccer. People would rather watch white people ski than watch scocer.
• I don't have the patience for Signing Day. I'm sure it's great fun if you're a Florida fan (yes, Brubaker, we know) to get the #1 class every year. But, most schools bring in 25 kids and redshirt 20 of them. Half of those kids will transfer or flunk out. You might see a few of them really flourish, but it will be two or three years. I need instant gratification like with John Wall and DeMarcus Cousins. I can't remember who Michigan signed last year and by Saturday, I probably won't remember who they signed this year. Redshirt seniors that just finished playing football last month graduated in 2004! 2004 was like 25 pounds ago, I just don't have the time to remember all that.

Okay, maybe I talked about Signing Day a little, but at least I didn't break down every crappy 3-star kid that your middling football team got.

A weekend just happened, supposedly. It was a weekend without football (if you think the Pro Bowl is football, you need to reevaluate), not a lot of entertaining basketball and most of the SD crew was snowed in. Have no fear, my bullet points and I don't discriminate against the crappy weekends.

• Kentucky got back to their winning ways against Vanderbilt. I can't imagine anyone besides fans of these two teams were able to watch this game from start to finish. It was a classic, "Look at me!" performance from the referees. The game seemed to last six hours and there were about 283 fouls called. When actual basketball was being played, DeMarcus Cousins turned in the performance of the afternoon with 21 points and 10 boards. He made AJ Ogilvy look like he was an Aussie that bleaches his hair and admitted on ESPN that his favorite show is One Tree Hill. What? All those things are true? No wonder he was made to look an idiot.
• Scotty Hopson delighted a poorly dressed Bruce Pearl. Hopson hit a huge step-back shot with less than 20 seconds left in yesterday's game against Florida. Shots like that are the reason that Hopson was a McDonald's All American, and it appears he is ready to reach his potential that Vol fans expected. Bruce Pearl is now 8-1 (regular season) against Florida since he's been at Tennessee. He was also rocking the infamous sports coat/t-shirt/tennis shoes combo yesterday. Yes, I know the tennis shoes were a part of Coaches vs. Cancer. And I also know his t-shirt was a UT shirt for their fight against cancer. But, that is a combination that should never be worn. Ever. Just take off the jacket, Bruce. Be better.
• North Carolina lost at home...again. Thankfully, because of snow, there were hardly any fans there to see them drop to 10th in ACC standings. If you've seen UNC play, you know their guards are shaky at best. Frontcourt players that are NBA prospects are great, but if no one can get them the ball, they aren't quite as dominant. Even if the Tar Heels don't make the tournament this year, they'll be all right. Scout.com's #1 player, Harrison Barnes, and #7 player, Reggie Bullock, have already committed to UNC for 2010.
• The Winter Olympics start in 11 days. I swear. I am not joking. They're in Vancouver this time. Who knew?
• The Grammy Awards were last night. I watched about twelve minutes. Granted, I bought one CD in 2009 (Phish's Joy) and had maybe heard of about half of the people nominated for the "big" awards, but this seems like an overly hyped event. I saw Dave Matthews make an ass of himself on stage, furthering my claim that he is a musical joke (and so is the rest of his band). The performance by Drake, Lil Wayne and Eminem was a censor's delight. I think half of the song was heard by the television audience, the other half was muted. Truly, a great moment in music. And, Taylor Swift won Album of the Year. I watched her acceptance speech. It was probably 30 seconds long and I flipped back and forth about 173 times during the speech on whether she is hot or not. I really can't tell if she's beautiful or the love child between Sam Cassell and Nick Van Exel.

Photo via WildcatWorld.com

Bobby Johnson is the latest casualty of the whims of 18-year-old boys.  Today, QB Nash Nance announced he has decommitted from Vandy and committed to Derek Dooley at Tennessee.  So that makes, yep, 3 incoming quarterbacks this year.  Nance joins Rivals #7 QB Tyler Bray and juco transfer Matt Sims headed to Rocky Top.  As usual, CTFP has the scoop.

“It was very emotional for me and my family. After visiting Tennessee and hours of prayer I feel that Tennessee is a better fit for me. Coach Dooley has all the confidence in me and my abilities and he really likes my future as a Vol.”

Poor, poor, BJ.  Congratulations, you're still Vandy.

Then again, he did think he was going to win a National Championship at Vandy.  So who really lost here?

The questions swirled for a day.  How would Kentucky respond to being ranked #1?  It appeared that they didn't react too well to it, losing on the road to South Carolina by the score of 68-62 on Tuesday night.  Today the questions are still firing.  Did Kentucky overlook South Carolina?  Was the call from the President a distraction?  Is Devan Downey really that good?

It did appear Kentucky overlooked the Gamecocks.  They didn't exactly play inspired basketball.  DeMarcus Cousins played a solid game, but overall the players seemed to be flat. 

The call from the President is a non-issue to me.  It was just another act in the circus Coach Calipari has created of the Kentucky basketball program.  I'm in no way panning Cal for his promotional skills.  His ability to be a politician and marketing genius is nothing but good for UK basketball.  There's just a lot going on in that program.  There have been a million distractions coming at these players from the start of the year.  John Wall is being called a player of the year pick and a lock for the #1 pick in the 2010 NBA draft.  DeMarcus Cousins, Patrick Patterson, and now Eric Bledsoe are all being rumored to have chances at being as high as lottery picks in that same draft.  A phone call from Barack Obama is just another act in the sideshow.  It's nothing these kids haven't gotten used to.

That brings us to the issue of Downey.  Is he good?  Hell yes he is.  The guy completely disrupts you on defense.  You almost can't guard him with one person because you're giving up either open jump shots or layups.  It bothers me that everyone is talking about how great of a game he played last night.  Yes, he scored 30 points in a game where his team only had 68.  He scored those buckets against good (and fresh) defenders throughout the game. 

If you look at his stats, even in passing, it's hard to say he had a stellar game.  Downey shot 9-29 from the field and 10-11 from the free throw line.  He was 2-5 from the three point line but he needed almost 30 shots to get to the 30 point mark.  In addition, he only had 3 assists.  I give Downey all the credit in the world for hitting those acrobatic floaters and fadeaways (the and-one on the quick in bounds was tough) but how many bad shots did he take when he got driving lanes?  If it were not for Muldrow and Jefferson hitting the offensive glass the game would not have been close. 

Now I do say this in total ignorance to South Carolina's game plan.  It is quite possible that Darrin Horn has instructed Downey to shoot any time he makes it to the lane.  If that is not the case, then SC's big men have at least done a good job of learning their point guard's tendencies.  South Carolina had 16 offensive rebounds last night, and if you watch the film closely you can see why.  It wasn't simply that UK's players weren't blocking out or that Carolina's big men were crashing the boards hard (they were), but about 80% of the offensive rebounds were a result of Downey penetrating, shooting a wild floater over a help defender, and then that defender's man getting an uncontested put back.

Kentucky never made an adjustment on this.  You obviously can't just let Downey shoot, but the adjustment should have been made on the penetration.  Once Downey clears his man you have the help defender come to pressure him.  At that point either the man guarding Downey has to get back to the help defender's man or you have to have a complete defensive rotation to make sure that man is screened out.  I understand Devan is quick and gets his shot up quickly in the lane, but UK has outstanding team speed on both ends of the floor.  They should have forced South Carolina to drive and kick more often.  SC shot 25% from behind the arc as a team.  They shot much better than that off offensive rebounds.  It is unacceptable that UK never made the adjustment to get more men on the boards on dribble penetration.

The final thought on the game is that South Carolina impressed me last night.  Not because I think they are a good team; they are not.  They didn't impress me because they beat a good UK team or because they beat the number one team in the nation.  Darrin Horn's squad impressed me last night because after leading for about 7 minutes of the second half they found themselves down by 5 with just under 10 minutes to go.  It is very hard for a team with lesser talent, and playing against a highly ranked team, to pull themselves back up when they have given up a lead in the second half of a game.  South Carolina showed me last night what Tennessee showed in their win over Kansas.  They have some guts, and on any given night they can push a team to the brink.  Carolina did not play very well last night, but Kentucky played awful.  That is why Kentucky ultimately lost the game.  But SC's ability to hang in there in that second half gave them a chance, and for that alone they should be applauded for at least one game.

Time to polish off an old gimmick and contradict myself for a few paragraphs.

I know... it's an absolute fact that I cause the Purdue three game losing streak with my post griping about how they get no respect. The karma gods were angered, they knew I shouldn't have been complaining about anything with the Boilermakers undefeated and made me pay. But, I went and ran my mouth anyway and the team went on a three game skid. From now on, I am thoroughly convinced they will lose every game going in. Mark it down.

I'm an idiot because... there's no such thing as a jinx and there's no karma gods. If there were, I'm pretty sure Hitler would have gotten a real death a lot more similar to (spoiler alert) the end of Inglorious Basterds. Plus, as confident as I am that Matt Painter reads SD, surely he's not letting it go to his head.

(On second thought, let's play it safe.  Purdue has no chance, go ahead and keep them penciled in for last place in the Big Ten.)

I know... I've been Kentucky fan all my life, and this UK team is special, but I can't seem to shake the "hired gun" feeling. With Wall, Cousins and Bledsoe all potentially one-and-done this year it just seems sort of artificial. Instead of the Unforgettables these feel like the Don't-Get-Too-Attached-ables.

I'm an idiot because... apparently I can't appreciate a good thing when I've got it. This sort of team might never come around again. They're not there yet, but these Wildcats could be one of the all-time great teams by the end of the season. Plus, I enjoy Patrick Patterson about as much as I can enjoy an athlete. Patrick will certainly keep them playing hard and getting better. And if that doesn't work, John Wall almost certainly has a Final Four bonus built into his contract.

I know... I'm starting to miss football already. There's only one game left for eight months? Blerg. Perhaps I'll start studying the line on the Pro Bowl (hint: I've got a hot tip about the under) and put money on every prop bet I can find. Of course I think the first play from scrimmage will be a run between one and six yards!

I'm an idiot because... I just planned a trip to Vegas for the middle of March, nuff said. Plus-dear reader-you are due for some serious World Cup coverage. I haven't spent the past four years obsessing over every lineup change and twisted ankle on the US national team for nothing. It's going to be an eventful spring/summer in these parts. Stay tuned.

(Picture credit: Lafayette J&C)

It's Monday, and I can't remember the last weekend that had as much going on as this past one. As always, I'll be using bullet points to highlight everything that happened.

• Yes, Kentucky is #1 (again) (finally). It has been just under seven years since the last time the Wildcats were #1 in the polls. UK had to win on Saturday against Arkansas to ensure they'd be atop the polls and they absolutely embarrassed the Hogs. They started the game 10-0, cruised to a big halftime lead, then started the second half 17-0 for good measure. I celebrated by doing the John Wall Dance at many of Lexington's fine establishments.
• Peyton Manning is the best. I'm a "Brady Guy," but how can you not say that Peyton is the best QB right now (and probably of all-time)? He absolutely owned the Jets defense yesterday, a defense that everyone in the country seemed to think was the best defense ever. Rex Ryan is now just a fat guy who can't win the big one. Also, Heisman Trophies: Charles Woodson 1; Peyton Manning 0.
• Brett Favre is really good. Say what you will about Favre, but the Vikings are never playing in the NFC Championship this year without him. You're lying to yourself if you think that Sage Rosenfels or Tarvaris Jackson was taking them there. The Vikings are probably a better team than the Saints, but it's tough to win in New Orleans (unless you're Tampa Bay in Week 16 and Cohron picked the Saints in his Suicide Pool). Manning may throw for 600 yards against the Saints "defense" in the Super Bowl.
• Bruce Pearl still can't dress well, but wasn't the worst dressed person at the game. Bruce, we've talked about this. You cannot get away with wearing ribbed t-shirts under sports jackets. You look like a fool. Your team also no-showed while you were wearing your clown outfit. Be better and put on a shirt with buttons and a tie, then your team might play hard. In Bruce's defense, at least he didn't wear peanut butter to the game. The only time I'm smearing peanut butter all over myself is if Blake Lively is involved.
• Penderhausen is a worse gambler than I am. The guy gave four bets for the weekend and only hit one. There is no truth to the rumor he was trying to do an impression of yours truly. His record this past weekend should be a telling sign for UT having a winning football season.
• I finally saw The Hangover. Yes, I was trying to be the last American male under the age of thirty to see the movie. It was very funny in parts, but dragged in others. It's an all-time top ten comedy, but not cracking the top five.
• Texas' basketball team lost to UConn. Texas fans commented, "I thought our season ended against Alabama when McCoy got hurt." For you dense people, that means that people in Texas don't care about basketball.
• Dick Vitale made a ridiculous statement. Crazy, right? This time he said that Brian Zoubek would be drafted in the second round of the NBA Draft in June and would make an NBA team. This is the same Brian Zoubek that is averaging 5.4 points/game for Duke.
• Conan's last show was funny. I know I've been a little hard on the guy over the past couple weeks, but the last show was entertaining. If he'd been that funny for seven months, he'd probably still be employed. Will Ferrell as the lead singer from Lynyrd Skynyrd singing "Freebird" was funny (for a while). Beck dressed up as The Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz, and that was really funny. For me, Neil Young's performance and Ben Harper shredding the "Freebird" solo were the highlights of the show for me.

Photo via Lexington Herald Leader.

Three hundred and six days.  It has been three hundred and six days since Kentucky basketball fans watched their beloved program lose 77 - 67 to Notre Dame in the NIT on March 25, 2009.  Then, there was shock at having been in the NIT, and shock at having lost in that tournament.  There were also rumors.

Would Billy Gillispie lose his job?  Should he lose it after only two years?  Would Jodie Meeks and/or Patrick Patterson leave for the NBA?  If so, who could fill their places?

It's a familiar story now for Cats fans.  Gillispie was fired and John Calipari was hired.  Patterson decided to return for another season to play for Cal while Meeks went in the first round of the NBA draft.  There was something on the order of 20 players wondering who would stay and who would go under this new coach.  Everyone was wondering how soon (or if?) Kentucky could get going in the right direction again.

Fast forward a few months into the fall semester.  John Calipari has four young freshman that could potentially start for any team in the nation.  Coach Cal has the best recruit (and possibly the best player) in college basketball joining him in Lexington.  He has a junior college transfer that isn't afraid to shoot the ball, and he's got Patrick Patterson ready to do anything needed to get this program back to national prominence.  The question still remained, would they be any good?

A heart stopper against Miami (OH) left Wildcat fans on the edge of their seats and wondering if they had misjudge their talent.  Sam Houston State comes into town and confirms what everyone has heard from their coach for two months, "we've got a long way to go."  Over the next five games John Wall saves the day again while playing Stanford, UK blitzes to a huge lead and holds off North Carolina down the stretch, and they go into Madison Square Garden to come out ahead of UCONN in a tough environment.  Still, Calipari thinks that his team still needs to grow.

Kentucky went on to blow out their next five opponents before the big game.  Louisville came into Rupp Arena, and a bar fight nearly broke out.  Calipari kept the team on the right track, and the Cats came through with another big win heading into conference play at 15-0.

Georgia plays Kentucky close at home.  Cats fans still wonder how good this team can be.  UK goes into Florida and comes away with a double digit win.  Fans feel a bit better.  On the road at Auburn, Jeff Lebo's squad gives Kentucky a game, but fans feel like their team is on a roll.  Experts predict an upset, but Kentucky demolishes Arkansas in a game that has "playing for the #1 ranking" written all over it.  And now the blue Kool-Aid flows like wine.

If you're a Kentucky basketball fan you have to smile to yourself today.  Three hundred and six days ago your team lost in the NIT, and today...well today you're the #1 team in the country again.  Enjoy it, because most of you deserve it.

As I watched the UK curbstomping of Arkansas yesterday, a game that wasn't as close as the final 31-point margin (how often can you say that),  one thought crossed my mind; Is anyone enjoying this season less than Billy Gillispie?

Let's recap for a moment. It's 2007, and you're Gillispie. You're the new coach of the moment, pegged as the next great one after leading Texas A&M to the Sweet 16. You're often described as hard-working, a tireless recruiter and entirely consumed by basketball. You weigh some offers coming in, but eventually decide the lure of Kentucky is too strong to resist. You're taking over one of the premier programs in college basketball, a program starved for a winner after not having visited a Final Four in close to 10 years. You're getting paid handsomely, you're immediately embraced by the state, and you proudly don your blue-and-white, ready to begin establishing your legacy, the legacy you've dreamed about since declaring, as a kid, that you wanted to be a basketball coach.

Except for one thing...the script falls apart here. Turns out, in addition to being obsessed with basketball, you're kind of a jerk too. You blow off speaking engagements around the state, a big time "no-no" for the head man at Kentucky. You fail to embrace the Big Blue Nation, often alienating fans and boosters with your prickly attitude. Rumors abound of your alcoholism, and you're seen around town more than a few times looking less than sober. Oh yeah, and your teams aren't doing much either. You go 40-27 in two years, and your resume includes gems like home losses to Virginia Military Institute and Gardner-Webb. For good measure, you even fail to earn an NCAA berth in your second year, settling for the NIT. To top things off, you're in the middle of a nearly two-year dispute with the university over your contract, since you technically signed a Memorandum of Understanding. There's also rumors of what can be generously described as odd behavior, such as making a player spend a halftime period in a bathroom stall for apparently, not living up to your standards. Yeah, it's safe to say things didn't go according to plan for you at Kentucky.

So two years later, you're gone. Almost as quickly as it started, your tenure at Kentucky is finished. To top things off, you decide to hang around Lexington for a while, emboriled in a legal suit to get your salary that you apparently feel you earned. It was such a stressful time for you that you decided to to pound a few drinks one night and drive home, only to get pulled over, reeking of alcohol and badly slurring your words. Your reasoning? You were just leaving the golf course, having apparently discovered Lexington's only course still open at 3 a.m. Your mug shot is ridiculed endlessly in the next few days.

Now, let's fast forward back to Saturday. There's your former school, crushing another overmatched opponent on their way to a 19-0 record and the likely #1 ranking. There's smiles all around from the players, a few of whom you should recognize, although those smiles might be a new look you haven't seen. There's an energetic, engaging coach sitting in the seat you once sat in, only he seems to be having infinitely more fun than you ever did. There's 24,000+ screaming fans, refusing to leave their seats early even in the midst of a blowout. The dark clouds that seemingly sat on your program now seem to only just be following you, while UK fans are once again enjoying their sunshine.

And perhaps the worst part? It's all because of you. You did this to yourself. You were handed a golden opportunity, and you threw it away. You failed to embrace the public relations portion that comes with the Kentucky job. You took condescending tones with the media, which for a coach who is barely keeping his head above water, comes off as desperate and unnecessarily defensive. You embarrassed players, calling them out regularly after games and routinely throwing them under the bus. It's no wonder your two stars, Jodie Meeks and Patrick Patterson, were both rumored to be very hesitant to return to the school if you did.

And when you look at UK now, all you have to see is what could have been. If only you had tried to embrace the state, as John Calipari has, then maybe this would be you, enjoying the spoils of coaching a tradition-rich program headed back to the top. If only you had fully understood the importance of UK basketball to people in the state, instead of just referring to it "just another job", then maybe it would be you giving high-fives to Ashley Judd after the game. If you had decided to bond with your players and help them develop instead of treating them as subordinates, then maybe it would be you coaching a team full of future NBA stars. Instead, you're like the guy who got the pretty girl he didn't deserve, treated her poorly, and then now has to watch her become Miss America while on somebody else's arm. It has to hurt.

But the Big Blue Nation has moved on to bigger and better things, and we're enjoying the ride. You're the one whose left to wonder what could have been.